Rising From the Ashes
by Lauren AV
Summary: I used to be the face of the rebellion. The Mockingjay. The Girl on Fire. What would everyone say if they knew the girl who sparked a revolution was left a pile of ashes in its wake?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: All characters belong to the brilliant Suzanne Collins! I hope you all enjoy this story and please review! Also, if you have a suggestion, please let me know :)

_I used to be the face of the Mockingjay. The Girl on Fire. What would everyone say if they knew the girl who sparked a revolution was left a pile of ashes in its wake?_

_CHAPTER ONE_

I sit motionless on the couch in my living room. Greasy Sae, who has taken care of me since my return must have gotten food into me somehow and ushered me to the bathroom but I remember nothing except the endless macabre, agonizing images that plagued my mind in sleep and in waking. Which is which I couldn't tell you. It all runs together. I vaguely remember Haymitch sitting in a chair beside me telling me about something I can't recall. To put it plainly, I shut down. Prim, my baby sister who I had fought so hard to protect, is gone. She died in front of me and I can't bring her back. My mother is off in another district, no doubt avoiding any contact with me. I don't blame her though because if I had the choice, I wouldn't want to be around me either. Gale, who designed the bomb that killed hundreds of innocent children, including my sister, is likewise in another district. Peeta is still receiving treatment from Dr. Aurelius but I doubt I'll ever see him again. I can see no reason for him to return to District 12. His family is dead, his home and bakery devastated; he has nothing to come back to.

Haymitch visits with me. And by visits I mean he plops down in a chair beside me, drink in hand, and babbles on, trying to draw a response out of me. It's no use though. I am aware he is next to me and trying to hold a conversation, but he might as well be talking to a statue because his words fly over my head.

_"The boy is back by the way. He arrived on the train early this morning."_

I couldn't believe what Haymitch just said. Why on earth would Peeta return to District 12? Has he recovered from the effects of the tracker jacker venom?

By the time my mind finishes running circles I look up to find Haymitch gone. Before I can drift back off into my state of nonexistence, I hear a loud metal clang coming from outside my door. Normally I would just ignore it, but for some reason I feel compelled to go investigate the source of the noise. I open the door and see him. It's Peeta. He is using a shovel to plant primrose bushes in my yard. His cargo pants and t-shirt are covered in dirt and sweat but his blond hair shimmers in the sunlight and his blue eyes sparkle like they always used to when he was focusing on a project. So intent on his work, Peeta doesn't notice me standing in the doorway. Not knowing what else to do, I hug myself before managing a quiet and strangled

_"Hello."_

Peeta looks up. He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

_"I wanted to plant some primrose bushes to remind you of… her. I hope that's alright?"_

Unable to speak, I nod slightly. I turn around to go back inside but before I can Peeta interrupts with,

_"You should talk to Dr. Aurelius. He says not to keep ignoring his calls."_

I close the door without acknowledging him. I can't fully process what just happened. Why would Peeta be doing anything for me. I am truly touched by his gesture but I can't wrap my mind around why he would want to do anything nice to me, especially after what happened with the venom. Even if he hadn't been hijacked by the Capitol, I have done nothing to deserve his kindness. Still standing in the hallway, I notice my reflection in a mirror. I turn to see myself clearly and I don't recognize the person staring back at me. Red, bloodshot eyes,

tangled hair, skin cracking from the neglected burns covering a frail figure. I don't even look human. Startled by my appearance, I decide to take a shower.

Soundlessly I make my way to the master bathroom and turn on the warm water feels incredible on my skin and for a few minutes I just stand and enjoy the sensation. I proceed to scrub myself clean and shampoo and condition my hair until it is tangle free and smells of blooming jasmine. Satisfied that I am sufficiently clean, I step out of the shower . Before I wrap myself in a towel I study myself in the mirror once more. My skin looks like a patchwork quilt, I am far too thin and my hair that once nearly reached my waist barely covers the top of my breasts. I quickly turn away and put on a robe. Opening a drawer I find a hair brush and begin to pull it through my hair. While putting it away I notice a bottle of aloe vera lotion. Knowing that will help heal my burned skin, I apply a generous amount to every inch charred by the fire. Feeling a little less discomfort I head into my bedroom and put on a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and a cardigan. Not knowing what else to do, I choose to go downstairs and make myself some tea. To my surprise I hear someone in my kitchen. I am even more surprised when I see that someone is Peeta.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you all for reading! After this next chapter I might not be able to post until next week because I'm filming for an international PSA and doing work for a show I'm costume director for, but don't worry, I won't forget about this story! Once again, please read and review my lovelies! :)

Chapter Two

Once Peeta noticed me coming into the kitchen, his face flushed with embarrassment.

_"I'm sorry for coming in, it's just that the door was unlocked and I wanted to leave you some bread I baked."_

I glanced over to my counter and saw a basket of bread. I am touched, but still a little confused as to why he is being so kind to me.

_"Thank you. I appreciate the gesture."_

Peeta nods and we both fidget uncomfortably. Neither of us know what to say.

_"Would you like some tea? I was going to make some for myself."_

Peeta hesitates. I figure he must be trying to find a nice way to decline my offer.

_"Actually, I would. If it's not too much trouble."_

Stunned, I shake my head and put some water to boil. Not entirely familiar with the contents of my kitchen, I have to search through a few cabinets before I find the tea. I decide on peppermint. That always makes me feel refreshed. I place the tea bags into two cups and just then the kettle whistles. Wordlessly I fill the cups with hot water. I hand Peeta his cup.

_"If you want, we can sit in the living room. Go on in and make yourself comfortable. I'm just going to add a little sugar to my tea."_

Peeta agrees and leaves the kitchen. This morning I was in a catatonic trance and now I'm hosting Peeta Mellark for tea. I wonder if my day could get any stranger.

_"How is your tea?"_

Peeta glances up at me.

_"It's perfect, thank you. I'm surprised you remember that I never take sugar with my tea."_

A small smile creeps onto my lips as I sit in a chair across from Peeta.

_"How could I forget? You constantly made fun of me for not being capable of enjoying the tea by itself."_

We both chuckle at the shared memory. Peeta's face becomes somber and he shifts in his seat.

_"How have you been Katniss?"_

Immediately I avert my eyes. I am not ready to talk about that. Even with Peeta. Instead of answering him I twirl a loose curl around my finger and take a sip of tea.

_"I see."_

Glancing up, I see that Peeta has a pained expression on his face. I instantly feel guilty. I have caused him so much pain. It was I who left him that night in the Quarter Quell. It was my fault he was taken by the Capitol and tortured. It was because of me that District 12 was bombed and his family was destroyed. And here he is baking me bread and planting primrose bushes in honor of my sister. I don't deserve any of his compassion. It's just like Haymitch said. I could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve him.

_"Katniss I miss you."_

Peeta's revelation brings me back to reality.

_"The reason I stayed with Dr. Aurelius an extra three months was to learn how to manage and control my episodes where the tracker jacker venom takes over. I've been having fewer and fewer of these episodes and I can manage nearly all of the ones I do have. I don't remember everything but I am remembering more every day. You are the only other person who understands what I've been through with the games and I'm the only one who understands the same for you. Haymitch told me how you've been these past few months and it scares me. You used to be so full of passion and spirit. I'm not saying that you don't have every right to feel the way you do, but it's not healthy. I need you to help me put back the pieces of my life and I beg you to let me help you do the same."_

I am stunned. I honestly don't know how to process what Peeta has just said. Just then Peeta stands up, kneels in front of me and takes my hand.

_"Please Katniss. Let help each other."_

I look into his eyes. They are pleading for me to agree.

_"Okay."_

Relief washes over Peeta's face and he stands up. He says that he should probably head home because it's getting late. I walk Peeta to the door but before he leaves he smiles and turns to face me.

_"Goodnight Katniss. I'll see you in the morning." _

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Once again, please review and comment. Until next time my darlings 3


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: I know I haven't written in a few months and I'm so sorry! I had two shows I was doing and I'm getting ready to graduate in a few weeks so things have been pretty hectic. But better late than never! Without further adieu, here is Chapter 3. Please R&amp;R!**_

_**Disclaimer: All rights and characters belong to the brilliant Suzanne Collins.**_

**Chapter Three**

_**In my dream I was a little girl again. My sister Prim and I were sitting on the floor of our small shanty playing with a doll that was one our mother's. I feel at peace until I notice my mother and father whispering in the corner with their backs turned. Suddenly they both turn towards me and I wish they hadn't. They aren't my parents at all but capitol lizard muttations with sickening smiles. The one posing as my father licks his lips with a forked tongue before taking a step towards me. I am just about to grab Prim and run but when I look at her she too is a muttation. They jump on me before I have time to scream. As I feel myself being torn apart by their lethal claws I can faintly hear President Snow's laughter forcing itself through the open window. **_

A low but loud growl startles me awake. Apparently my thrashing and flailing had disturbed Buttercup, who had snuck onto my bed after I fell asleep. He gave a quick huff before positioning himself in the crook of my knee. I let my fingers smooth over the mussed up fur on his head and Buttercup started to purr softly, almost like when he was a kitten.

Afraid of the nightmares that surely awaited me if I went back to sleep, I just laid in bed absentmindedly stroking Buttercup until he drifted to sleep. I stayed like that for a few hours until I decided that it was an acceptable time to get up. I was careful not to disturb Buttercup as I got out of bed and headed to the shower. Letting the warm water wash away the nightmare, I begin to sing some of the songs my father taught me. I continue singing even after I have gotten out of the shower, brushed my hair and have gotten dressed.

I look outside my window and the sun is barely beginning to creep up over the trees. Having nothing else to do, I go downstairs and make some tea. The kettle starts to whistle just as Peeta walks through the door with a basket full of freshly baked goods. He smiles as soon as he sees me.

"Good morning Katniss. How did you sleep?"

Instead of answering him I look down and ask him if would like a cup of tea.

"That bad, huh? I didn't get much sleep either. I started baking two hours earlier than normal."

"How are you standing? Aren't you exhausted?" I asked quizzically.

"I could say the same thing about you, Katniss. But yes, I would love some tea."

I nod and get an extra cup from the cabinet. While I'm pouring his tea, Peeta starts setting up our breakfast spread. He brought apple cinnamon muffins, cheese bread, and a pumpkin walnut loaf. The aroma alone was almost enough to fill me up. While I bring our tea to the table, Peeta gets plates from the cabinet and sets one in front of me and another in from of himself.

"Shall we dig in?" Peeta asks with a sheepish smile.

I furrow my brow before answering "I'm not even sure where to begin."

That makes Peeta laugh. It is so good to hear that sound again.

"Well, let's start with your favorite. Do you want anything to go with the cheese buns?"

"No, they're perfect just as they are."

Before I know it I've eaten all but two of the buns Peeta brought over.

"Goodness, hasn't Sae been feeding you? I mean I know they're delicious but geez." Peeta states cockily.

I stick my tongue out at him before stating "Well I was going to save some for you but now I'm just going to eat them all by myself."

Before I could even think to grab the cheese buns, Peeta had them in his and was holding them above his head. Since I'm shorter than he is, I have no chance in hell of getting them now.

"What was that you were saying about not letting me have any?"

I laugh and realize that I'm enjoying myself. This shouldn't be happening. Two days ago I was barely existing and now I'm joking with Peeta about cheese buns. I'm no psychiatrist but I didn't think that such a dramatic change could come so quickly. I'm in no way even close to who I was before the rebellion or even during The Games, but I can feel my soul taking the first infinitesimally small step towards picking up the pieces of myself that had been shattered. Peeta notices I have gone quiet and looks at me with soft eyes.

"Are you okay Katniss?"

"Yeah, sorry I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"Nothing" I lied. "I guess I just have a cluttered mind."

Peeta looks at me unconvinced.

"I know you're not telling the truth but you've always kept to yourself when it came to your feelings and inner thoughts so I'll let it go."

Damn. I almost forgot how good Peeta was at reading people and how bad of a liar I was.

Finished with our breakfast, we both clean up in a comfortable silence. Once everything was cleared Peeta asked me what I wanted to do. I look out the window and notice that dark grey clouds have rolled in and threaten to shower us at any minute. That crosses out doing anything outside. I suggest lighting a fire and lounging in my living room. Peeta agrees. I head upstairs to a guest bedroom and grab as many pillows and blankets as I can carry. I also grab the book of songs my father gave me. In it is written all the songs he taught me. I figure I can read through it and maybe it'll bring me some comfort.

Coming down the stairs I can see that Peeta already has a nice fire going. He smiles when he sees me.

"Are you sure we have enough blankets? I think you only brought enough for a small army."

"Well if that's how you feel than you aren't allowed to have any."

Peeta just chuckles and helps me set up a comfortable little lounge. He sees my dad's book on the table and asks me what it is.

"It's a book of all the songs my dad taught me. It's been in my family for generations."

"Will you sing for me?" Peeta asks in almost a whisper.

"What would you like to hear?"

"Just start at the beginning and don't stop until you've reached the end."

And that's how we spent the rest of the afternoon. The clouds outside manifested into a big storm but we were both too caught up in the music to notice or care. For once in a really long time we were able to just be ourselves and be at peace.

Maybe that's why my nightmares raged with a vengeance when I went to sleep.

_**A/N: Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed Chapter Three! Once again I'm o sorry it took so long to post but now that summer vacation is coming up, I am hoping to update this story a lot more often. If you have any questions or comments for me, don't be afraid to ask! Please review and until next time, stay beautiful!**_

_**P.S. I am currently working on a novel and I desperately need critiques and suggestions so if you are interested in helping out, please let me know!**_


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